


Half Awake

by dantehicks (arthureverest)



Category: Askewniverse
Genre: First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 15:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17368613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthureverest/pseuds/dantehicks
Summary: jay realizes he might be a little gay, and for silent bob at that.





	Half Awake

**Author's Note:**

> marty made me watch dogma and now I'm writing fic, do not ever say I'm not a good friend

Jay was doing the yankin’ part of his morning routine when he connected the dots. Like, it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to think about guys while jerkin’ it. It was maybe 50/50 (okay, 60/40) that he'd visualize some adonis while going at it instead of an aphrodite, but for some reason he'd never considered that meant much. Like, every fucken guy over fucken 12 has thought about guys like that before, right? And of course they're thinking about their friends half the time because, fuck, they're there all the time and shit. On the brain. 

He was thinking about Bob's ass. He'd seen it lots of times, it's not like he was modest or anything, changing clothes while Jay was in the room. 

He started thinking about kissing him, which was a little unusual. Like, on the mouth and shit. Not even aggressive fuckbuddy kisses but soft, gentle, slow, boring, romcom kisses. Like, dating kisses. 

He paused for a moment and thought about dating Bob. What would it be like? A lot of the same, which— 

Wait a second, why was he thinking about that gay shit?

He guessed he was kinda ok with having sex with a guy. He guessed he'd kinda like to do that with Bob. He guessed he'd be ok with that level of gay.

Ok, so realizing he'd be kind of ok with Silent Bob hitting it wasn't exactly the full revelation, but you don't go from a to q or whatever. The full deal was that he'd very much like to drop the ‘hetero’ from ‘hetero life-mate’ and maybe, like, get fucken married or some gay-ass shit like. The full deal was that he'd been in love with Bob for full-on years. And it just now occurred to him while he was fondling himself that it was even a fucken option. 

The hard part then was getting that information to Bob without him freaking out or rejecting him or some shit. So he tried.

“Hey, Silent Bob I was wonderin’ if your tubby ass wanted to watch a movie, like some fucken classic or some shit like fucken black and white flick or some fucken shit like.” 

Bob nodded. 

Jay pulled up some Hugh Grant bullshit because that guy does romantic shit like Notting Hill or whatever and maybe it'd be good for getting Bob in the mood.

When he realized it was a fucken period piece, Jay groaned, exasperated, but Bob seemed interested so he stuck along with it. The opening scene was funny enough so he settled in, curling up against Bob. He didn't notice Bob's smile. 

The main characters of the movie so far were best friends, which Jay liked. But there weren't any bangin’ chicks, and soon he understood why. 

He sat up. “They’re gay?” 

Bob nodded. 

“You knew?” 

Bob mimed 'shh’ and pointed at the screen. 

It was a tender moment they were witness to, and Jay took notice.

“Do you realize,” the voice from the screen said, “That I would have gone through life half-awake if you'd had the decency to leave me alone.” 

Jay looked at Bob, who was (silently) mouthing along with the next words. 

“Perhaps we woke up each other.” 

Jay stared incredulously at Bob, who widen his eyes to stare back. 

Jay started laughing. “You knew? Damn you're a fucken genius with like, Sherlock brain.” 

Bob grinned, and gently brushed Jay's hair behind his ear with his hand.

“So you're like, ok with the whole like, fucken, gayin’ it up with your best friend and shit? I mean I guess I am, I gotta process this information, everything's a little bit much but I think I'll be ok. You know, I feel like I should have figured this out earlier what with being around you so much but I always figured that—”

Bob put his finger to Jay's mouth to get him to stop talking. 

“Would it be ok if I kissed you?” Bob asked. 

“Fuck yeah!” 

Bob leaned in for their first kiss like he'd been waiting for years to do that, and in fact, he had. 

It was slow, deliberate, deep kisses that set Jay's brain on fire. They continued on the couch for the rest of the movie and longer, paying no attention to the film at all. 

Bob would intermittently ask if everything was ok as he progressed in stripping Jay down and kissing him in various places. He sucked him off with a practiced ease that Jay was curious about but didn't ask. 

“This wasn't like I'd imagined at all.” Jay mused while Bob was kissing his neck and grinding against him.

Bob paused and looked up at his best friend, his life mate, and cocked his eyebrow. 

“Yeah I'd imagined it! Damn, stop being so fucking surprised when I say homo shit.”

Bob giggled and kissed Jay's cheek. “It's just new.” 

Bob yawned, got up from the couch, turned the blank screen on the tv off, and sauntered calmly to his bed. 

Jay watched him do this and tried with all his brainpower to decide if he should follow before Bob peeked his head out from the doorway and gestured for him to come in. 

“Sweet!” he shouted and ran after him. It was the start of a long string of good nights.


End file.
